The mall

We had to get out of the house. Desperately. It had been raining for two days and we hadn't left the house let alone change out of our pajamas.

I decided to load the girls up in the van. First up, we did the carousel ride. In line, some girls were looking at Riley. This obviously makes her nervous so what does she do? Pull Reese's hair. While on the ride, I position myself between the two horses the girls are riding, "Cinderella" was Riley's and Reese was riding "Jessica." We had to talk about names for a long time: Why would Cinderella be a horse and who is Jessica?

Then, Riley is the kid who you can't get off the ride. I pry her little hands off and promise her pretzel sticks. Nutritious lunch, right?

After I slather them down with sanitizing wipes, we head to the little tables at the food court. I spot a girl I used to work with - pre-mom days. I notice how lovingly she peers in her kids eyes, enthralled in their words and little faces. I drag my kids over and we exchange our hellos.

Of course, the first words out of my mouth are, "You have two kids!"
Her: You do too!

This is when it happens. It's like I have been released from solitary confinement. It is all unleashed.

I teach college kids now. How old are your kids? When are their birthdays? Where does he go to school? What are you doing? Oh, this is your family? Hi, I'm Jamie. We used to work together. These are my girls.

(Cue Riley suffocating Reese with a pretzel stick.)

All of this happens before she even responds. It's like she's in shock by my rate of speech and the content in which I am providing at record speed.

We never get farther than the food court. That was enough activity for one day.